December 8th, 2011 at 8:47PM
There are discs inside of my face! I’m seeing through my eyes right now without wearing glasses! I have contact lenses and they are touching my eyeballs! You guys, I am blinking SO MUCH. So weird SO WEIRD. I’ve worn glasses since second grade. They are basically my face. NOW I DON’T HAVE A FACE AND I KEEP POKING MYSELF IN THE BRIDGE OF MY NOSE. I have peripheral vision. What is this madness? Ahem. What happened is this: We had some money left in the medical flex spending account, so I bought a fancy pair of prescription sunglasses, as one does. We picked them up on Saturday, and on Sunday someone stole them from Isaac’s stroller in Prospect Park - with cold emotionless logic passing up the grubby sock and drained yogurt pouch. For whatever reason, I decided that that was the last straw and that it was time, after thirty years of glasses wearing, to streamline. So I went back to the optometrist this morning and then she put DISCS ON MY EYEBALLS. Then she made me do it twice, and an hour and a half later I had that down. And now I’ve done it again. Blinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblink. If you see me walking down the street, walk on by, because you’re not going to recognize me, because I no longer have a face.

There are discs inside of my face! I’m seeing through my eyes right now without wearing glasses! I have contact lenses and they are touching my eyeballs! You guys, I am blinking SO MUCH.

So weird SO WEIRD. I’ve worn glasses since second grade. They are basically my face. NOW I DON’T HAVE A FACE AND I KEEP POKING MYSELF IN THE BRIDGE OF MY NOSE.

I have peripheral vision. What is this madness?

Ahem. What happened is this: We had some money left in the medical flex spending account, so I bought a fancy pair of prescription sunglasses, as one does. We picked them up on Saturday, and on Sunday someone stole them from Isaac’s stroller in Prospect Park - with cold emotionless logic passing up the grubby sock and drained yogurt pouch. For whatever reason, I decided that that was the last straw and that it was time, after thirty years of glasses wearing, to streamline. So I went back to the optometrist this morning and then she put DISCS ON MY EYEBALLS. Then she made me do it twice, and an hour and a half later I had that down. And now I’ve done it again.

Blinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblink. If you see me walking down the street, walk on by, because you’re not going to recognize me, because I no longer have a face.

  1. yossilanger posted this
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